The first book in the best-selling series begins with failed publican, dressmaker and professional bed-tester George East and his wife Donella acquiring a windfall from a shady deal and setting out in search of a picture-postcard cottage in Normandy. Tellingly sub-titled A Year in Purgatory, this enchanting book is a sometimes hilarious and always entertaining account of how one couple set out with a dream, and eventually ended up home and (fairly) dry at The Mill of the Flea. It has become a classic of its genre, and been enjoyed by an army of general book readers.
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The sequel to Home & Dry in France tells the story of our heroes’ attempt to survive a year living off the land and their wits at their dilapidated watermill in Normandy. Determined to make a go of living the good life, the Easts find themselves with an unofficial estate manager and mentor as René Ribet moves on to their land in his ancient caravan. Their new friend will, he says, school them in the ways of the countryside and help them restore their ruined property and fortunes at the same time. To the innocents abroad he appears a godsend. To the locals in the nearby village of Néhou, however, René Ribet is known as The Fox of Cotentin. Doomed schemes launched by the unlikely partnership include bottling the waters of their polluted stream, manufacturing the first ever garlic-flavoured car deodoriser and holding rallies for metal-detecting enthusiasts to discover the whereabouts of the long-dead miller’s legendary hoard of gold. As the seasons pass, the couple finally realise that the real treasure has been all around them, all the time..
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Once again, we visit the innocents abroad at home in the tiny Normandy community where time is cheap, good friends are priceless, and reluctant tractors are brought to life with a shot of home-brewed and highly illicit applejack brandy.
Once again we meet local characters and members of the Jolly Boys Club like JayPay, the giant superchef and moustache-growing champion of all Normandy. Then there’s Old Pierrot, who claims to have magical powers and to have been on first name terms with William The Conqueror.
Didier the dodgy dealer is still doing a roaring trade in blank Rubik’s cubes, and the doughty Madame Ghislaine is still battling to keep the village store, bar and school open and her husband sober. And, then of course, there is always René Ribet, the notorious Fox of Cotentin….
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The fourth collection of tall tales from master raconteur George East, French Flea Bites takes us through another eventful year in and around the tiny Normandy village of Néhou. Along with the regular cast of members of the Jolly Boys Club and other eccentric villagers and settlers, we meet a man who believes he died in 1979, an English lord who is trying to patent his chain mail underpants, and a lethal cat who becomes a werewolf at full moon. Elsewhere, a genetically mutated muskrat is decimating Reggie and Ronnie’s crayfish gang, and René Ribet (the notorious Fox of Cotentin) is drawing up plans to convert a giant compost heap into Néhou’s answer to The Millennium Dome. Obviously, all is quite normale at The Mill of the Flea…
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The long-awaited fifth book in the Mill of the Flea series, French Cricket finds our heroes returning to La Puce after a two-year absence caused by family bereavements. Arriving to find their home in a sad state of disrepair, Donella sets about mending the broken cement mixer and restoring The Mill of the Flea to its former glory. Meanwhile, George sets about renewing his membership of the Jolly Boys Club, and finding excuses for not writing his new book on the couple's latest adventures in Lower Normandy. Without telling his wife the grim news, the ever-optimistic would-be entrepreneur must also cook up some new money-making schemes to avoid having to sell La Puce. As a long summer comes to bloom, George meets a weird array of new British settlers, and the latest members of the La Puce menagerie include a ballet-dancing goose refugee from the foie gras farm down the road, a duck which is afraid of water... and a giant eel called Elvis. Obviously, nothing changes at the Mill of the Flea!
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In the opening pages of the penultimate book in the series, we join the author and his wife at their favourite bar as they and a predictably bizarre collection of customers prepare to welcome in what will turn out to be a momentous year for the Easts. As usual, the owners of the Mill of the Flea are struggling to survive financially, and this time it is really serious. The dastardly bank manager is demanding the settlement of their overdraft, and if our hero cannot come up with a scheme to raise the money, the couple will lose their beloved home. George sets out on a quest to save their home of thirteen years, and predictably becomes involved in some very bizarre deals with Didier, the local and very dodgy general dealer. Sub-plots along the way involve the nobbling of the East's entry into the All-Cotentin Chicken Show, with the wily Réne Ribet stepping in to save the day and put one over on the rival village with his fox-like cunning. Then there's a memorable encounter with a synchronised drinking and smoking team and the baton-dropping champions of Lower Normandy, together with appearances from a Parisian clockmaker posing as the Prince of Darkness, and an alleged descendant of Nostradamus who makes his predictions after rather than before the events. As the pace quickens, it looks as if nothing will save the Easts from leaving the Mill of the Flea. But as usual, there's a twist to the tale. Or is there....?
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He’s back- and this time it’s really serious.
Failed rock legend, pickled onion manufacturer, air hostess and euro-entrepreneur George East takes us through another eventful year of his doomed attempts to make a living out of living in rural France. Fleeing from the Mill of the Flea with creditors in hot pursuit, our hero and his long-suffering wife arrive at a rambling manor-house on the vast and brooding stretches of the Normandy marshlands.
The cunning plan is to set up a fox sanctuary, chicken farm and arts & crafts commune for the creatively challenged, but the East’s new home soon reveals its grim secrets.
A lifeline is offered by a stranger with a scheme to bring the delights of the Great British Pub to homesick expatriates. The George Inn ( Sometimes) will be the first of a chain of hugely successful anglo-pubs stretching from Normandy to Nice and beyond.
At least, that’s the idea. As the clock ticks towards opening time and final financial meltdown for the ultimate innocent abroad, we encounter another host of improbable -and frankly sometimes unbelievable- characters and situations.
The amazing thing is that any of it is true.Will George find fame, fortune and contentment, or has this modern Micawber taken his final drink in the Last Chance Saloon?
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In French Letters, George wrote about the couple’s game plan for the autumn of their years. The scheme was that they would amble around France, calling in on all those readers who had been rash enough to invite them to
stay if ever they were in the area.
Having arrived with a bottle of (fairly) good wine and their dirty washing, the Easts would then impose upon the hospitality of their hosts until all goodwill was exhausted. Then it would be on the road to the next region of France, and the next victim.
Probably because of the warning ( and that potential hosts
would have read about
George’s level of house-training), the plan never materialised. As a substitute, the couple had to find another excuse to go on the run and savour the diverse delights to be found only in France.
This is the raison d’etre behind French Impressions and the Brittany book.
The first of a series which will last as long as George does, French Impressions: Brittany is the result of the
East’s time half way up what passes as a mountain in this wonderful and very different region of France. Plan ‘A’ was for the couple to spend a year living in a tiny hamlet and moseying around the region to report on the history, culture, traditions and (most of all) the food and drink of Brittany. And of course, the eccentric locals and expats encountered at home and on the road.
In fact, the Easts had such fun that the one year deadline was stretched to three. But now the book is finished, and you can
join the couple in their small adventures. Written in George’s inimitable style, this book is certainly unlike any travel book you can have read.
And as a visitor to this site, you can
get your hands on a copy
at a special introductory offer.
Buy now and see just why so many
readers think George East is a national treasure, even if that means they
think he should be re-buried...
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A Year Behind Bars is the 'prequel' to the Mill of the Flea series, and tells the story of one man's attempt to create the perfect pub. Having spent most of his free time in inns, taverns and good old-fashioned boozers, our fictional hero (who is quite like the author!), persuades his long-suffering wife to buy him a pub of his own for Christmas. Now, he thinks, he will be able to drink at cost price, and relax while entertaining customers and friends in his front room. Predictably, the scheme does not quite work out quite as planned. Along with the diary of a memorable year of rude awakenings, near-catastrophic incident and continual farce, the book also contains a number of brilliant cartoons illustrating the funny side of pub life, a host of fascinating facts about the Great British Pub, and a fun quiz for readers to check out if they may be suited to a life behind bars. A must for everyone who has at some stage thought how nice it would be to run a cosy little pub…
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